Handhold                                                  March 2019

We shake hands with the people we meet. We hold hands with the people we love. When we are shaking hands, we face the person whose hand we are shaking. When we hold hands, we are side-by-side facing the same direction.

Only people who are holding hands can walk together in the same direction. People who are shaking hands sometimes go in circles, if they are able to move at all.

In a relationship, it is important to understand how we complement each other. I believe that God puts people together who individually provide something that the other does not have. For instance, some people are good at organizational skills. In almost every couple there is one who is good with money and one who is not, well, one knows how to spend it and the other knows how to save it.  If both people in the couple figure that out, they can make a very wise decision about who is going to have the most control over the money. It makes no difference whether it’s the husband or the wife, because they both benefit from resources that are well-managed.

When holding hands with our spouse, it is quite difficult to head in a wrong direction unless we both choose to go that way.   Staying on course is easier when two minds try their very best to head in the right direction – together.   Being “like minded” is from the Greek isos and psuche; of similar spirit.   John Courson says that a couple can succeed in matrimony if they are alike in education, physically attracted, have the same goals, and are equal in their spiritual beliefs.   I would add that there must be love. In this I am not talking about lust but rather about a choice.
We humans do not naturally love in the true spiritual sense. We must elect to do the things which the other person considers loving. If I make the choice to give to the other person based on my reward for doing so, that is not love. It is merely a transaction. The most unloving person on the planet knows how to do that. They ask, “Will I receive more than I put out when I give X,Y, or Z to the other person?” It is just business. It certainly isn’t love. In those cases you may as well be shaking hands and looking each other in the eye.
Holding hands faces both of you toward the gift. “Look at this beautiful thing I offer you,” the Giver says. “It is a wonder,” says the Receiver.   Then you turn and face each other with that knowing smile which only a close couple can feel.
As we walk through life, it is best to ask whether you are holding hands with God or are you just giving Him an occasional hand shake over a transaction.

2nd Corinthians 13:11 – Finally, brothers and sisters, rejoice. Be perfected, be comforted, be like minded, live in peace, and the God of love and peace will be with you.

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